Fall is here! For us that means we kick off new small groups at South Bay Church. I love small groups because it’s a great environment to get to know people better and can talk about life on a deeper level.
This fall I will be leading a group for women on prayer called “Conversations w/ God”. We will be discussing what prayer is and why it is important to our lives. I’m so excited to teach on this subject! The very first group I led (fall 2000) was a co-ed group on prayer- which is how I met my husband! He and I led that group together on our college campus, and we were amazed at all God did through that group.
This month I’ve been researching and preparing for the study. It’s important to me that the Bible be the center and the main reference, so I’ve been studying people in the Bible and their prayer lives. The last few weeks I’ve studied Nehemiah and Hannah and have had some great insight. I’m also reading some other Christian books on the subject- my favorite so far is The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard. I love reading books that make your head hurt, and boy does this one!
With every group I lead, God always uses it to challenge me in a new way. I’m really enjoying this new challenge and excited about what He is going to teach me (& others) through it. Prayer is one of those areas in which we can always grow more. Like our relationships with our spouse, children, or a friend- there is always more to learn. Same with God- we will never get to the point in life where don’t need to keep learning about Him. And I believe that’s one of the things prayer does- keeps our relationship with Him constantly growing and in result we are closer to Him.
For those of you women who are local, group starts on October 6th! Please contact me for more details and directions.
Have you ever felt compelled to do something and your first thought was “that is just not me”? Or maybe someone challenged you to do something and you thought “no I can’t do that!”.
I remember the story of Moses when he questioned God who asked him to be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Or Jeremiah when God asked him to be his prophet and speak to the people. Jeremiah responded to God by saying, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” (Jer.1:6) Essentially he was saying, “that’s not me!”.
We often judge our ability to do something based on what we think we can do, but I think God often calls us to things that are bigger than ourselves and even outside of what we think “clicks” with our personality.
If I were to do things based on my personality:
I would probably NOT be a stay-at-home mom. I babysat as a teenager and worked in a daycare for a little while, but kids stress me out! They always have. Holding someone else’s baby scares me, and not being able to rationalize with a two year old is very frustrating for me. Not to mention I crave being around people- engaging in adult conversation. Me a stay-at-home mom? It’s totally against my personality.
I would NOT be a small group leader. I shy away from the spotlight and can’t stand being the center of attention. Putting myself in front of a group of people, having them all stare at me, and having to say something intelligible is totally NOT me.
I would NEVER blog or write anything that anyone could read. To let everyone in on what is going on in my head? That is just too embarrassing, too risky. Not something this girl would never attempt.
BUT…
I do all of those things, and I love doing all of them!!! Why?! Because I believe God has called me to and has asked me to do them. I think God delights in showing us his power in our weaknesses. If I were to think I could do these things myself, then I wouldn’t have to depend on Him so much EVERY day. 2 Cor. 12:9 says, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Knowing His power is working in me gives me the ability to do all of them.
Now…
I LOVE being a mom. The baby stage is one of my favorite stages- who would have thought?! Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t the easiest job, but it gives me great joy because I know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing. It requires me to be disciplined with my time and schedule. I have had every 30 min. to an hr. scheduled for both of my girls since they were born- something completely uncharacteristic of me. I’ve had to find ways that being a mom does “click” with my personality. I view discipline issues as a leadership issue- how am I leading? Are they following me and if not, why and what do I need to change? These things challenge me and keep me motivated to get up in the morning.
I LOVE leading small groups. It takes a work of the Holy Spirit to make happen, but after 9 years of leading groups for women, I know that God is able to use me despite resisting the spotlight. Even though I get nervous every semester, feeling and knowing that the Holy Spirit is working through me is the best thing in the world. It’s almost like He gives me a “personality transplant” for a couple hours a week. I know it’s not me.
I LOVE writing/blogging. It is something I’m still learning, but I feel like the more I write, the more God talks to me. The more He talks, the more I learn. The more I learn about Him, the more I can share with others- which is what it’s all about, sharing Christ with others. If writing/blogging is how God wants me to share about Him, then I’m willing to be embarrassed a little for His sake.
It’s not always easy and can be scary at times, but trusting in God to do what He has asked of me is so worth it and much more fulfilling and rewarding than only doing what I think can be done- that would be so boring.
Just in case you didn’t hear via facebook or twitter about our family.
We’re having a BOY! We’re so excited to have another male in the house. I’m sure Filipe is super excited to have some help around here- though they’ll still be outnumbered. I’m also excited to decorate and look at boy things. Up until now I have only had the experience of shopping in the little girls’ departments. Might be a nice change from ALL the pink around here. 
And in case you’re wondering…no we don’t have any names picked out. Honestly I haven’t even started thinking about it- I have another 17 weeks.
Here’s the ultrasound pics:
Boy Profile
Boy Proof- tilt your head right.
And here are the girls…excited to have a baby brother.
The past week has been brutal. We moved Labor Day weekend just a few apartments down to a 3 bedroom apartment. Getting all of our stuff in was the easy part. Within 48 hrs. everything was in and organized, BUT we lost all connection to technology. No phone, cable, internet- nothing. I couldn’t even use my cell phone at home since I have to use the internet connection to get reception. The biggest frustration is that it took 3 separate AT&T guys to come out 3 different times. You would have thought these guys had to do some major overhaul on the wires or whatever it takes for the service, but no- they didn’t even come into the house to do anything. They pretty much turned on a switch and called and told us our service was connected. Seriously- 10 days to do that! Of course the internet (the most important for us) was the last one they connected.
Anyway, we are finally connected again and life is getting back to normal. I didn’t realize how much freedom a couple hundred more square feet would feel- not to mention an extra room. The best part of the whole place is that we have a huge closet in the girls room- and I mean HUGE! I love having enough space to keep things organized well. When I don’t I just want to get rid of everything until there’s enough space without things feeling so cluttered- I hate clutter.
On this day last year our family flew on a one way ticket from Charleston, SC to San Jose, CA. Filipe was the only one who scouted out the place, and I was hoping that everything would be just like I had envisioned or at least what google maps showed on the street view! We came with a purpose and we came with the peace that this was the place God wanted us to be.
Before Andy invited us to be a part of South Bay Church, I had never been interested in church planting- just didn’t seem like much fun to me. Now I find it thrilling and exciting! There are times when things are stressful and overwhelming, but seeing God work in spite of us is amazing! Throughout this year we have met incredible new friends, seen a church go from 3 families to over 200 people, and seen many people give their life to Jesus.
The best part of moving here is that we came with a team. Moving can be pretty stressful- especially to a strange place! Having Andy & Stacie and Archie & Bekah (& then in Feb., Filipe’s parents) here going through it with us has made it a lot easier to adjust to this crazy place.
Being here and being a part of South Bay Church has taught me sooo…much, but I know I still have a lot to learn! Can’t wait to see what God is going to teach me throughout this next year!
Do you ever wish you could get a redo? I’m talking a real redo where you nor anyone else new what you did before. There are many times when I want to start over. I tend to be a perfectionist and have a difficult time looking at something I’ve done in the past if there are imperfections. One time I made a scrapbook from my semester abroad in college. A year or so later I picked it up and couldn’t stand what I had done. So what did I do? I completely trashed it and started over. Oh- and that meant going to Walmart to get hundreds of negatives developed because it was before I owned a digital camera.
Over the past few weeks as I have been figuring out what to do with this blog, I was tempted to just start over. For me and this weakness I have, I thought it was more important to save my previous post so I could get over seeing my imperfections and allow myself to see improvement (hopefully!) in my writing. It took a lot of self control not to go back and edit previous post- I mean A LOT of self control!
As a compromise, I decided a new look would be just fine. I can keep all my old posts and still do something different- which is all I really needed. So, I changed just about everything I could and still keep the old posts. Hope you like it!
What’s with the silence? Well, I’ve been in the middle of a dilemma lately. Do I really want to blog or not? Really the simple answer is yes. Of course I do, but if so, I have to have purpose to what I’m blogging about. I can’t stand doing anything if I don’t feel like there is a reason for it. “Just for fun” is usually not me because the “fun” never lasts long.
Last week I took a day off and went to the beach. Just me and Jesus- it was very nice! As I was journaling I wrote down words that describes God: Truth, Life, Faithful, Majestic, Merciful, Passionate, Redeemer, Father, etc., etc. Afterward, I thought about who I am, what I do, and where I should focus my time. I wrote wife, mom, leader, writer. The wife and mom part is a non negotiable, and leader part isn’t as hard for me as much anymore because I have clearly seen God use me in leading others closer to Him. Grasping the fact that God could use me to influence others took quite a while! The writer part is where I struggle. I don’t necessarily see myself as a writer, but I felt like God said, “if you never do it, you never will”.
So, I’ve decided to keep at it. Writing is something I deeply desire to do and can’t seem to get away from it. I’ve tried, really. Now I am rearranging my schedule to allow myself time to plan ahead and write something of substance. I read a great book on writing by Jerry Jenkins a while back called “Writing for the Soul”, and I realized that writing doesn’t just happen. Sometimes it seems like it should- especially when we feel inspired, but it has to be taken seriously just as any other job or profession. I often have things swirling around in my head at all times, but because I haven’t made blogging a priority for me, I usually let it slide before anything else. I realize I don’t have the time to make it a 40 hr/wk job, but I can do a lot more than I am if I give myself the freedom.
Here we go. Hope you stick along for the ride with me!
