Many Christian women seek to model the Proverbs 31 woman, but often in their quest to emulate her, her character is overlooked and her daily tasks are viewed through a magnifying lens. Some may even go as far as creating a checklist of all the things she did and try to do the same. They hope these new expectations will also give them a new, untapped surge of motivation. After a few days of trying and failing, they throw up their hands and say, “I guess I’ll never be a Proverbs 31 woman!” and they give up altogether. I may have done this a time or two over the last nine years.

The woman described in this chapter was not virtuous because of all the things she did. She was virtuous because her heart and motives were focused in the right places. Her deeds were simply an overflow. Proverbs 31: 30 says, “She feared the Lord…”, and because so, her actions reflected it.

Not only did she fear the Lord, but she embraced her role as a wife and mother. Her first priority was to serve and meet the needs of her family. She worked hard and diligently in the culture she lived, and by doing so, she developed many life skills including: managing, business, manufacturing, etc.

This woman lived a busy life much like many of us in the 21st century, but notice her response. “She can laugh at the days to come.” (vs. 25) This woman wasn’t stressed out, worn out, and worrying about the future. She trusted in God and took her responsibilities seriously.

How can we know our focus and priorities are in the right place?
Our family will take notice. They won’t resent us for being busy or dismiss our efforts. They will honor us and respect us for it. “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” (vs. 28)

If our husband and kids are stressed out around us, it may be a sign that our priorities are out of order or that we’re doing things for all the wrong reasons- even if they are good, seemingly noble things.

We all get our priorities mixed up time-to-time serving ourselves above our family. This can be prioritizing our own career above our family, pursuing our own interests first, or even rearranging our lives for the approval of others. The end result will likely create stress within us, cause anxiety in our kids, and friction in our marriage.

Seek the Lord first and foremost, embrace your role as a mom, and give your family the priority they deserve. When your heart is in the right place and your priorities in the right order, God will show you the “to-do’s” to carry it out. The list of things you do as a “virtuous and capable woman” may look different from others, but that’s okay. God is a creative God. He made each of us unique with our own interests and gifts. Let them fuel your life as a wife and mom.

True fulfillment comes when we align our lives with God and follow his principles. This is just another example.

Ladies, have you ever struggled to “do” all the things the Proverbs 31 woman did? What are some things you like to do as a wife and/or mom?  


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