“I used to struggle with insecurity.”
I’ve said this phrase countless times over the last 10 years.
In January of 2000 while I was at a college retreat in the mountains of California, I had an experience with God like none other. He got through to me in a way that left me forever changed. I had been in a place of brokenness for about two years, and He was restoring me, but there was still something big He wanted to do in my heart and my mind. God wanted me to see myself the way He saw me- to break me of my insecurity. This was huge for me.
After that mountain top experience, I walked away a different person. Although I still had a long way to go, (and still do!) that stronghold over me was broken. Since then, however, I’ve labeled myself as someone who “used” to struggle with insecurity (in a chronic way).
When I found out Beth Moore was writing a book about women and insecurity, I was thrilled. I was so excited to have the book as a resource for other women! So many women I know struggle with this- I used to struggle with that remember. I was so wrong!
I started reading the book a couple weeks ago and God sure has gotten a hold of me! One of the first sentences that jumped off the page was, “perfectionism is insecurity in art form”. Well, now that might be me.
Or this one. “Are our insecurities snuffing the Spirit until our gifts, for all practical purposes, are largely unproductive, or at the very least, tentative?” Maybe I do still struggle with insecurity?!
Within the first couple chapters, God quickly turned my attention from “what can help her” to “what can help me!”. That’s just the beginning, I’ll post more about some other specifics as I continue reading.