Monday night I finished a writing project I spent most of 2011 working on.
(Insert big sigh of relief here.)
For seasoned writers, it could have taken a few days, weeks maybe.
For me, it took over six months.
It’s big (for me).
It’s personal (feels like I’m exposed in a not-so-fun kinda way).
It’s scary (what could happen.).
It’s exciting (what could happen?!).
So what now?
An even bigger project to tackle.
At the beginning of 2011 I felt like I was standing at the bottom of Mount Everest looking up at this huge obstacle/dream. Now here I am at the beginning of 2012. I’ve climbed, I’ve made progress, but I’ve got a long way to go. I still can’t see the top, it’s still out of sight.
But I do know what’s next.
Keep on climbing. Keep pushing forward.
(Pretty sure the cue for Miley Cyrus’s “The Climb” just started.)
It’s interesting the emotions I go through on a journey like this. When I’m in the middle of a project, it’s easy to stay focused and vigilant on the task in front of me. I have a goal and I work hard until I complete it. It felt so good to finish the other night- especially considering it’s hung over my head for months.
But all day yesterday I felt like I couldn’t amount to anything. Like nothing I write will ever impact anyone and I should just give up.
Where was all this coming from? How could I go from one day being focused, confident, and excited to the next wanting to turn in my pen and paper and say game over. At one point in the day I actually thought I wouldn’t ever be able to write anything again. Anything. Really? Really?
Where is all the drama coming from? (I may or may not be listening to Daniel Powter’s, “Bad Day” as I write this.)
The funny thing about it:
I couldn’t blame it on my kids. They were being great.
I couldn’t blame it on traffic. There was none.
I couldn’t blame it on my husband. He’s out of town.
It’s all me, myself, and I.
So, what will I do?
Keep writing. Keep going. Keep climbing.
I’m not giving up.
Whatever it is you’re about to give up, don’t! It’s not worth it. You’ll regret it forever if you do. Keep going! You can do it.