This week in our Life Group for New/Expectant moms I shared about an area that I’m personally learning a lot in right now. I figured I probably wasn’t the only one.
One thing I love about God is that he is a personal God who knows us more than we know ourselves. Most of the time that’s comforting- especially the moments I’m not even sure I know what I want. But on the other hand, He also knows the areas that I need to grow in and work on- the weaknesses and struggles. That’s not necessarily bad news, but it usually doesn’t feel good at the time and often takes longer to realize the benefits.
It can be easy to look at other people’s problems and feel like we have their answer or even wish we had their problems (because we think we would know what to do in their situation). But, life doesn’t work like that. The areas I struggle with are unique to the weaknesses in me and the areas where I need the most growth.
This is so true when it comes to parenting. I realized right recently that many of the things that I’m frustrated with, when it comes to my relationship with my children, are areas where I need to grow in and work through the most. Over the last several months I have been faced with difficult situations with my daughter (situations that I wasn’t sure how to handle, felt insecure in, or lacked the patience to deal with). Now, of course it’s not unusual as a mom to go through rough patches, but these were different.
I noticed that I wasn’t dealing with the situations and trying to avoid them or past it off quickly as possible. If Filipe was around, then I would let him deal with it. When I realized I was doing this, I challenged myself to not back out or pass the buck, but to face the moment and really deal with the issue in front of me. I’ve noticed a huge difference- in both of us, and not only that, but I see areas that I’ve grown in as well.
I haven’t gone into specifics on purpose because I think we all have things that bother us more than others. If you’re already a mom you probably have a list already going in your head by now. What pushes you to the limit may be different then what pushes me, big things for me may be little things for you, and the things that I feel confident in you may feel weak in.
My point is…
When you notice difficult situations that are unusually hard for you to handle don’t just avoid them or try to get past them as quickly as possible. For me it wasn’t a lack of discipling that was the problem, it was taking the time to deal with the heart of the issue- sometimes discipline is involved, sometimes it’s me asking for forgiveness, other times it’s just taking the extra time to talk things through. I feel like God is speaking to me so much more and giving me the wisdom to handle each one as they come- and that wouldn’t have ever happened had I avoided the situation.
Allow God to use these moments to strengthen you and develop your own character. The growth process isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.
What areas is God wanting to strengthen in you as you parent your children?