I’m currently taking a blogging break. While I’m resting and recharging I thought I’d repost some of the top post from this year so far. Whether you’ve already read it or this is the first time, I hope you find it helpful for you.
This “secret” applies to many areas and positions, but for the sake of context I will apply it to motherhood in this post. Feel free to modify where necessary.
We all do it even though we know it’s wrong.
We compare how we’re doing as a mom against the other moms around us (physically and/or virtually).
“I’m doing pretty good- I can manage all three kids at Target as I check-off everything on the list (with a coupon for each item no less), and have the sanity to stroll over to Starbucks on the way out”. As we head for the door, we catch a glimpse of another mom in the check-out line- that one with the screaming child who is throwing a fit, and walk out, patting ourselves on the back saying, “good job, good job”.
Or we find ourselves asking,
“How in the world does she handle five kids, I can barely handle one- and I have a nanny half of the day!”. Then we slip into depression and allow condemnation to wash over us.
Here’s a little tip for you if you’ve been in either one of those scenarios (maybe both in one day.)
Whenever you start to compare yourself against another mom just remember the word…
We all have different levels of capacity, all in different areas. For me to look at you and expect you to have the capacity to do what I’m called to do is unfair to you. And for me to look at another and expect myself to have the same capacity as they do is setting myself up for failure.
Capacity is based on so many factors:
- Your spouse- his career and/or calling.
- Your career, and your calling.
- Extended family- how much outside support you have.
- Living situation- City life is different from suburban life which is different from country life.
- Finances- your income affects your ability to provide, and level of dependency.
- Your kids- some kids are very compliant, some are not. This changes capacity dynamics.
So moms out there, let’s not judge another mom’s capacity based on our own. And let’s not condemn ourselves for another. Let’s encourage one another, build up one another, and HELP each other out.
It’s okay for you not be able to do everything she does.
It’s okay for her not to be able to do everything you do.
On this blog (or twitter or facebook), I don’t ever want a reader to feel like what I suggest or share are things I expect everyone to do. They are only meant to give you ideas, and to encourage and inspire you in whatever capacity you are currently in.
I hope you read this and feel a little more freedom to be the you God has called you to be. The you your husband needs. The you your kids need. That’s what matters more than trying to impress the other moms at Target.