Have you ever felt compelled to do something and your first thought was “that is just not me”? Or maybe someone challenged you to do something and you thought “no I can’t do that!”.
I remember the story of Moses when he questioned God who asked him to be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Or Jeremiah when God asked him to be his prophet and speak to the people. Jeremiah responded to God by saying, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” (Jer.1:6) Essentially he was saying, “that’s not me!”.
We often judge our ability to do something based on what we think we can do, but I think God often calls us to things that are bigger than ourselves and even outside of what we think “clicks” with our personality.
If I were to do things based on my personality:
I would probably NOT be a stay-at-home mom. I babysat as a teenager and worked in a daycare for a little while, but kids stress me out! They always have. Holding someone else’s baby scares me, and not being able to rationalize with a two year old is very frustrating for me. Not to mention I crave being around people- engaging in adult conversation. Me a stay-at-home mom? It’s totally against my personality.
I would NOT be a small group leader. I shy away from the spotlight and can’t stand being the center of attention. Putting myself in front of a group of people, having them all stare at me, and having to say something intelligible is totally NOT me.
I would NEVER blog or write anything that anyone could read. To let everyone in on what is going on in my head? That is just too embarrassing, too risky. Not something this girl would never attempt.
I do all of those things, and I love doing all of them!!! Why?! Because I believe God has called me to and has asked me to do them. I think God delights in showing us his power in our weaknesses. If I were to think I could do these things myself, then I wouldn’t have to depend on Him so much EVERY day. 2 Cor. 12:9 says, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Knowing His power is working in me gives me the ability to do all of them.
I LOVE being a mom. The baby stage is one of my favorite stages- who would have thought?! Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t the easiest job, but it gives me great joy because I know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing. It requires me to be disciplined with my time and schedule. I have had every 30 min. to an hr. scheduled for both of my girls since they were born- something completely uncharacteristic of me. I’ve had to find ways that being a mom does “click” with my personality. I view discipline issues as a leadership issue- how am I leading? Are they following me and if not, why and what do I need to change? These things challenge me and keep me motivated to get up in the morning.
I LOVE leading small groups. It takes a work of the Holy Spirit to make happen, but after 9 years of leading groups for women, I know that God is able to use me despite resisting the spotlight. Even though I get nervous every semester, feeling and knowing that the Holy Spirit is working through me is the best thing in the world. It’s almost like He gives me a “personality transplant” for a couple hours a week. I know it’s not me.
I LOVE writing/blogging. It is something I’m still learning, but I feel like the more I write, the more God talks to me. The more He talks, the more I learn. The more I learn about Him, the more I can share with others- which is what it’s all about, sharing Christ with others. If writing/blogging is how God wants me to share about Him, then I’m willing to be embarrassed a little for His sake.
It’s not always easy and can be scary at times, but trusting in God to do what He has asked of me is so worth it and much more fulfilling and rewarding than only doing what I think can be done- that would be so boring.