What’s with the silence?  Well, I’ve been in the middle of a dilemma lately.  Do I really want to blog or not?  Really the simple answer is yes.   Of course I do, but if so, I have to have purpose to what I’m blogging about.  I can’t stand doing anything if I don’t feel like there is a reason for it.  “Just for fun” is usually not me because the “fun” never lasts long.

Last week I took a day off and went to the beach.  Just me and Jesus- it was very nice!  As I was journaling I wrote down words that describes God: Truth, Life, Faithful,  Majestic, Merciful, Passionate, Redeemer, Father, etc., etc.  Afterward, I thought about who I am, what I do, and where I should focus my time.  I wrote wife, mom, leader, writer.  The wife and mom part is a non negotiable, and leader part isn’t as hard for me as much anymore because I have clearly seen God use me in leading others closer to Him.  Grasping the fact that God could use me to influence others took quite a while!  The writer part is where I struggle.  I don’t necessarily see myself as a writer, but I felt like God said, “if you never do it, you never will”. 

So, I’ve decided to keep at it.  Writing is something I deeply desire to do and can’t seem to get away from it.  I’ve tried, really.  Now I am rearranging my schedule to allow myself time to plan ahead and write something of substance.  I read a great book on writing by Jerry Jenkins a while back called “Writing for the Soul”, and I realized that writing doesn’t just happen.  Sometimes it seems like it should- especially when we feel inspired, but it has to be taken seriously just as any other job or profession.  I often have things swirling around in my head at all times, but because I haven’t made blogging a priority for me, I usually let it slide before anything else.  I realize I don’t have the time to make it a 40 hr/wk job, but I can do a lot more than I am if I give myself the freedom. 

Here we go.  Hope you stick along for the ride with me!

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