As summer approached, Filipe started making plans to go home to Brazil- this time taking me with him. This was more than a meet the family/meet the country kind of trip. This was also a potential future trip.
Filipe had one more semester left at CSU before he would graduate the following December, and we didn’t know what or where his long-term future would be. He came to the States with a student visa which allowed him four years of college, followed by one year of work in his field of study (religion). For him, at the time, it made more sense to go back to Brazil. That’s where he saw his future. He came to the States to get trained in ministry, not to stay. So if, for some reason, I wasn’t or couldn’t be on-board with that possibility, he needed to know. We both did. The clock was ticking.
We went to Brazil for two months and, like only we would, incorporated ministry into the trip every chance we got. During the month of June we interned with a church in Rio de Janeiro. There we met another American college student who interned alongside us. Filipe, our new friend Greg, and I did everything together that month.
The guys had an apartment to themselves; I stayed with a father/daughter family who didn’t speak any English. Their living room was the size of my walk-in closet. The young girl, close to my age, gave me her room for three weeks while she slept in her dad’s room or on the couch. I never could seem to light the furnace correctly to take a shower so I took a cold shower every day I was there. It was just the experience I needed to see if I could handle a life in full-time ministry.
Our internship in Rio gave us some great opportunities. We served at a Purpose-Driven Conference for pastors throughout Brazil. It was led by a group of American pastors from California. Filipe spent the three days translating for the American pastors. (One of those pastors would later be the same pastor of our local sponsoring church in the Bay area when we started South Bay Church. The day we found out was one of those surreal moments you’re reminded God is working behind-the-scenes all along.)
After the conference, we spent many days walking the beaches and parks in Rio inviting people to church events. We served at those events, and helped out anywhere the church needed for the remainder weeks.
Then the World Cup began. One of the highlights of the whole trip.
It was my first time watching the World Cup, but what an experience! I don’t know if any will ever compare. To be in Brazil when Brazil wins the World Cup is an unforgettable experience. The only way to attempt to describe what it was like is if you combine the Super Bowl, and a game seven of the World Series, NBA Finals, and Stanley Cup Finals into one. The intensity was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
When Brazil played, companies shut down, roads normally ridden with traffic were eerily empty, and fireworks accompanied every goal scored, let alone when they won- those lasted for hours. Time difference was never an issue. The energy of the city at 3am was as vibrant as noon.
Our final week in Rio was the final World Cup game. We traveled with the pastor’s staff and family to a Purpose-Driven Youth Ministry Conference led by Pastor Doug Fields. And you better believe the conference rearranged the schedule around game time. We sat in an auditorium cheering alongside hundreds of Brazilian church leaders as Brazil clenched the 2002 World Cup title. It was electric.
After that conference, we said goodbye to Rio, and headed to Sao Paulo, Filipe’s home city. There in Sao Paulo we were able to relax with his family after an intense month of non-stop activity. He introduced me to extended family, church and high school friends, and showed me the places of his childhood.
After a week or so, we took another road trip with his parents and sister- this time about twelve hours south, for his cousins wedding. I was able to see many different cities and regions of Brazil. Getting out of the major cities was a nice respite from the noise, traffic, and pollution. I also had the chance to meet many other extended family members.
Getting to know Brazil helped me get to know Filipe better, and the lens through which he saw life. For the first time I saw the disparity between the rich and poor as they lived side-by-side. I struggled to understand how million dollar apartments stood directly over the slums.
I’d never seen this kind of poverty before. It was the first time I saw little kids alone digging through piles of trash, and disabled kids begging at intersection. We gave money every chance we could.
I saw government corruption up close when a cop pulled us over at a checkpoint in Rio and bribed us for money. When Filipe asked for a ticket instead (5x’s what he was asking), the cop was indignant. Another cop came over asking why he would do such a thing. There at a police checkpoint we share with him about Jesus (the reason we would do that) and invited him to the church we were serving. The other cop was mad, but an hour later he let us go without the ticket. We were just wanting to go eat dinner.
Like family, Brazil was a part of Filipe. It was also becoming a part of me. By the time we left Brazil, I had a feeling it wouldn’t be my last. It was safe to say I had passed the Brazil test.
While in Brazil, many of our friends got engaged. While I hoped we could too, in my mind, one thing held us back- finances. Legally Filipe couldn’t work until he graduated, and the little he could get from the internship was not enough to buy a ring or save for marriage.
While in Brazil, I learned about how Brazilians get engaged. It’s much more ceremonial than the U.S. Family and friends gather for a party, and both the guy and girl wear rings on their right hand. When they get married the rings switch to the left hand. (Personally, I like the idea of the guy wearing a ring too.)
Being an American girl, I grew up dreaming of a diamond ring. It’s ingrained in our culture. I remember youth pastors preaching about how a guy should show how much you’re worth by his willingness to invest in a ring. But now I started to question whether it was necessary. I felt like the ring was the only thing standing between us getting married.
Inwardly, I wrestled about it. I don’t remember us discussing the subject very much. If ever I did, I said something about liking simple and white gold. Because of the financial implications, I felt uncomfortable talking about. I prayed about it, and eventually began making subtle hints that the ring wasn’t necessary. Honestly, it was still hard to concede in my heart, but I wanted to be willing to do things different. After all, I wanted to get married more than I wanted a ring. That was the honest truth.
Come back next week for, “Will You Marry Me?”